Sunday, July 18, 2004
Gosh. I'm dreading to go for classes tomorrow. Mann. Not again! Please. Why is it that a new friend should turn into someone that i dreaded most to see? Why is it that this feeling of hatred should exist? Is it my fault to have these feelings? Just last week we were having fun, laughing and chit-chattin...and now this thing should happen? Is it my fault that i'm being a sensitive gerl? Is it my fault to take the words seriously into my head and heart? I am juz being myself...and i hate myself for that...
Life is hard...i cant seem to work out my own life...here i am to be a good person, trying to succeed in life, when ppl make fun of me...i failed once in my life...i dont wanna fail again...i am really trying hard...i wanna build a new life...new friends, new surroundings...but no...i don think i can...
I felt myself as an invisible gerl walking down the stairs...being a nobody along the corridors...i hate it mann...hate it...other ppl are enjoying their lives in poly, when here i am grumbling and sighing...i hate it...cant i juz be a normal person ther?...i wanna study...but u dont understand it...i'm not trying to stereotype ppl here, but why are rich ppl so ignorant???...they juz don understand the REAL meaning of pain and suffering....
Enough bout it...thinkin bout it makes me mad and moody...I juz finished watching a 3hr hindustan movie entitled "Hum Tum" starring Rani Mukherjee and Saif Ali Khan...Kak Ain borrowed us the VCD...last week she borrowed another one, entitled "Main Hunna"...both were nice...lurve all their songs...the songs sort of lift up my mood...
Tmr gonna start sch late in the afternoon...i will do my own things...lemme juz be a loner...i don wanna be an extra gerl anymore...Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than to speak.
I'm outZ!
