Saturday, December 25, 2004
I'm a very bad person. I tend to blame others on my problems. But really, im trying not to, but i cant help it. See, i got this MMA project due tomorrow midnight. And im still not even half way thru the codings that im supposed to do. Coz i do not know wat codings i shld put. Wher, wat n how. Darn. Totally darn.
And now im putting the blame on my class. Yeah call me a loser or wateva u want it. But thats how exactly i felt right now. Coz the class is freaking irritating, and its like being divided into 3 portions. Its an elective subject, so during tutorials we r combined with 2 other classes. And we're different territories on our own. One of the left side of the classroom, one on the right side, and one at the back. Im under the last category; at the back of the classroom. I tried communicating with one of the chinese guy from the other class, but i got a negative response. The girls from the othr class looked at us like we're from Mars. And so im back to square one. My classmates? Don even mention that ok, coz each of them hav 'things' to do in class. They don bother, they don care. Period.
The thing now is that why are they giving this kind of project when they know that they have not not teach us fully on the topic. For gdness sake, i don even understand a single thing about Flash, until the third wk when a relief tutor came in and taught us from the beginning. But thers only 3 hrs of lesson per week. Its impossible for the relief teacher to teach us everything rite? The real tutor shld hav start explaining everything from the very 1st wk, so that by now we'll hav a few ideas on how to go about with it. We hav to wait for the relief tutor to do it?
School ended at 11am yesterday coz its half-day. I was shoo-ed out of the library coz its closing at 1pm. Went to the square and did that assignment with Nadiah. [Her tutor said their due date was next Thursday. Totally unfair!] It was ghost town in NP because apart frm us, there were only a few bangladesh workers and cleaners. We stayed till 6pm. Merry Christmas? Ya right.
Ive made up my mind. Ive got less than 48 hr to finish it up. If i really do not know how to continue with what im left by 2359hrs tmr, im gonna juz hand it in. Even if its juz half way done. Coz my mind's blank.
So im mad, frustrated n feeling hopeless right now. Im grumbling, im complaining, i noe that. I hav no one to refer, to ask for help or anythin at all. And oh btw, its 10 marks. 10 percent is nothing to the rest, but it means a LOT to me. Every single assignment is supposed to be done. Coz i wanna excel in my studies. Not juz rot around in class, and play Speed Underground 2 for the whole day.
Phew~ It feels nice to be frustrated.
