Friday, June 22, 2007
"And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of [labour's] fruits. But give glad tidings unto those who are patient in adversity"
(2:55)
At times, dont u ever wonder that we take things for granted without realizing? Our happiness, our surroundings, our family and our health...and so on and so forth. The first night, as i sat at the greenish sofa opposite the nurse's counter, i stared blankly into space thinking, wondering. I couldnt sleep. I was sleepy, tired, famished..yet i struggled to close my eyes.
The second night, i packed over to bro's house with an unforgettable scene in my mind. Thinking that she is lying there on the hospital bed..pale, weak, and unconscious from the long hours of surgery. All i managed to do that night was gave her a cup of milo, before she landed back into her unconsiousness world.
Back at bro's house, i tossed and turned on bed. Oh how i really love her very much. The pain and suffering she's facing now, hit me hard physically and mentally. I wouldnt want her to suffer even an inch of pain or danger, but who am i to give such an instruction? The mental image of her being pushed out of the Operating Theathre almost made me scream in my head. It was......unbearable. It was like a knife hitting me straight at my heart strings.
"...who, when calamity befalls them, say, "Verily, unto God do we belong and, verily, unto Him
we shall return."
(2:156)
Now we're all back at bro's house, and i couldnt do much as working life kidnaps me away during the day. I wouldnt be able to attend to her like i did last year. Dad has been by her side 24/7 and all i could do is to give a call from office during lunch. The image of dad, despite him being old and having terrible leg & hand pains, attending to her makes me feel just......useless. It feels wrong to leave them alone in the house during the day, but what other means do i have? I'm tied up myself. So does my brother...and my sis-in-law too. Decisions like quitting the job almost hit me, but i have to think rationally. Or..should i not?
It is they upon whom their Sustainer's blessings and grace are bestowed, and it is they, they who
are on the right path! "
(2:157)
I dont and wont give up. It's a battle that i have to face. I dont, and wont know how exactly the feelings are at the moment. I just want her to get well as soon as possible. It is a painful feeling to see her in pain.
And thank you Fadilla, during that day. Sorry to trouble u, and all those little things u had to do. And ur hug. Thank u so much.
And thank you friends for the smses and wishes and prayers. Thank u so much.
And thank you you, for coming over both at hosp & home, and constantly giving support to me despite my infinite worries & tears. Thank you so much.
:)
"And Allah has full power and control over His Affairs, but most men do not know.."
Taking care readers.
firmness
