Wednesday, June 18, 2008
We often tell ourselves to do the right thing, but we keep forgetting. We might or might not have the knowledge. But eventually when something falls or happens, we forgotten all about it.
And then sometimes....i wish i could be like a guy. One who doesnt have to be too emotional, one who doesnt have to cry so much to sleep, one who doesnt have to feel so down, one who doesnt have to be weak and etc etc. The knowledge instilled in me wont have its effect if i go on to be like this.
I envy my brother, my father and my guy. I wish, i wish, i wish i could be like them. No matter how sad i am, i wish i could keep it on my own. I wish i could keep myself calm, composed and leave everything in Allah's hands. I wish i could stop these sadness that's engulfing the aura around me.
I just wished i'm a stronger person.
:...(
Mom was hospitalized for two days, and then we had to bring her back home coz they couldnt do much. Doc said she's meant to get weaker and weaker in the days to come. The symptom she is having right now.....is expected.
The period given for her is getting shorter and shorter...
I broke down infront of my colleague today. I didnt noe how it happened. I was explaining to her regarding my early release yestrday (to meet the doc), when suddenly it happened.
:(
The conversation i had with my bro and my guy yesterday helps a lil bit tho, to set my mind to positive thoughts. I wished i could have the strength of you guys.
And then as much as guys think that ppl in sadness need to be left alone, thats not always the case for ladies. We tend to need someone around for a bit of comfort and reaasurance. It is at this time, that ladies will need the guys to be around. To be there for her. To set the right positive words for her.
Will you?
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This is a period of test by Him, and i hope i could pass.
Wallahu'alam.
